So it’s the summer holidays and top of my to-do list is getting this weary old body back into shape. What shape, I’m not sure. It brings to mind that old greetings card joke: “I am in shape. The shape I have chosen is a circle.”
Anyway, I’ve been hitting the gym and going to lots of classes – hopefully this vigour will make up for all the months when I’ve pretty much wasted my gym subs.
I’ve tried everything – Body Conditioning, Body Balance, B:conditioned (by mistake – I nearly died), Ashtanga yoga, Hatha yoga (the instructor speaks in a language I don’t understand, LITERALLY, so it’s not a relaxing experience…), Salsa (I was the youngest there…) and my old favourite, Zumba.
As soon as the new instructor (barely past puberty, hearty, clad in tiny shorts and a bralet) shouted “Are we ready to have fun?” and then, when no response came “NOT GOOD ENOUGH! ARE WE READY TO HAVE FUN?” I knew this wasn’t going to be me. She did the whole routine at breakneck speed without explaining a single move, shouting encouragement occasionally, staring at her toned, honed physique in the mirror appreciatively, and not letting her gaze drift to the bodies of the sweaty horde behind her.
So I thought I’d repost a post from ages ago about how other Zumba teachers have taught we how not to teach.